For all you oldschool VZ'ers....The Karn Logs

[steppezhe]

Found this on an old CDR...good memories.

If someone has posted this already recently, I didn't see it, so forgive me.

And so, without further ado...



The Karn Logs Part 1


As I embarked on my journey to Howling Stones and experiecing the inevitable 5 minutes of limbo trying to get in. A few moments ago Iceheart told me it was clear to enter.

You have entered Charasis.
You writhe in the grip of agony.
You writhe in the grip of agony.
A sepulcher skeleton hits YOU for 128 points of damage!
A sepulcher skeletone bashes YOU for 38 points of damage!
You are stunned.
A bile golem hits YOU for 130 points of damage!
You cannot cast spells while stunned!
You cannot cast spells while stunned!
You cannot cast spells while stunned!
You cannot cast spells while stunned!
You cannot cast spells while stunned!
Iceheart tells you, 'Haha dumbass'
A bile golem hits you for 130 points of damage!
A sepulcher skeleton hits for for 128 points of damage!
You have been slain by a sepulcher skeleton!
Returning to home point...
LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
You have entered The Overthere.
Iceheart tells you, 'Ahahaha look how long it takes you to zone'
Iceheart tells the guild, 'Rofl I told Zentis to zone into HS and he did, rofl rofl rofl!!!'
Tipp tells the guild, 'That's cause he's a moron ;P'
Zentis tells Jhihad, 'Can you rez me in HS?'
Jhihad tells you, 'dammit why dont you start your own groups and stop asking me'
Tipp tells you, 'No I won't join your group unless you find a cleric'
Zentis tells Tipp, 'How'd you know I was gonna ask? =P'
Tipp tells you, 'O...sorry wrong hotkey'
Infidelitie tells you, 'Chow Mai Pu Tang'
Borys tells the guild, 'iggles are all fags, i hope they all fuckin die, btw can psykotik join the guild?'
Tipp tells the guild, 'Anyone want to join an HS group?'
Merenya tells the guild, 'Me'
Jhihad tells the guild, 'Sure'
You tell the guild, 'I do'
Aadrya tells the guild, 'I want to'
Anakind tells the guild, 'me'
Iceheart tells the guild, 'Omw'
Invictys tells the guild, 'yeah, let me smoke first'
Tipp tells the guild, 'Ok, Jfat, Merfat, Aadfat, Anafat, Ice and inv come to the ent'
Zentis tells the guild, 'Gay, rez me at least =P'
Tipp tells the guild, 'O...Z wanted to join'
Jhihad tells the guild, 'dammit zentis try and start your own groups and stop asking'

And so these six arrived inside Howling Stones, making quick waste to the sepuclher skeleton and bile golem, who has brutally raped Zentis. They quickly spot Zentis' corpse and laugh at it.

Zentis tells Tipp, 'Rez me now =P'
Tipp tells Zentis, 'Fighting'
Zentis tells Tipp, 'Ok'
Zentis tells Iceheart, 'Are you guys really fighting'
Iceheart tells you, 'yeah'
Zentis tells Iceheart, 'Lies'
Iceheart tells you, 'haha he thinks we're fighting'
Iceheart tells you, 'fuc en shit, wrong message'
Borys tells the guild, 'come on plz let psykotik join the guild!!!!'
Borys tells the guild, 'hes realy a good guy, uh i know him in rl!'
Jhihad tells you, 'you ready for a rez?'
Zentis tells Jhihad, 'Yup.'
_________________________
|Jhihad casted ressurection |
|upon this. Do you wish this? |
| |
|___YES_______NO________|


This is where I made my fatal mistake and clicked the option "Yes". I have met my greatest adversary, which may bring me to my demise and wipe my existence away...forever.

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
Welcome to FrenchQuest!
You have entered The Land of the Karns.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Karn Logs, Part 2


The Land of the Karns was an eerie place, with the same scheme as the plane of hate, except you could see the sun, and the clouds. It was always cloudy, every cloud manifested into the same shape, over and over and over and over, same shaped clouds for hours. I was beguiled by this for hours. Clouds. Fuc en clouds.

Anyways.


You begin to cast a spell.
Unable to cast Gate in FrenchQuest.
Zentis says, 'Damnit'

I decided to summon a pet instead.

You begin to cast a spell.
Karn says, 'Following master.'

I had a pet named Karn, he was a 52 fire pet, ghey.

So I went exploring in this forsaken town I was in. It was then I encountered Moristans.

Zentis says, 'Wtf are you doing here mori?'
Moristans says, 'i hav ben hre 2 lnog, mi engrish go bda'
Zentis says, 'How?'
Moristans says, 'thsi plce turn yu frnch prson, i t wil hpen yu 2 if yu sty yu hree lgon 2'
Zentis says, 'Can you gate me to nek, I need to go to the bank'
Moristans says, 'wtff i m turnn frnch heer n yu wnat mi to purt yu?????'
Zentis says, 'You're an officer of the guild now, you HAVE to help me now =P'
Zentis says, 'Why didn't you just port out in the first place anyways?'
Moristans says, 'i m oficr, gud ideea'
Zentis says, 'Accept my invite get me out of here'
Moristans says, 'hahahahahaaaahahahasbodfkjasdfuwa0-f i wil nevr grup wit yu! TIPP COMNDS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
Moristans creates a mysterious portal.
Zentis says, '#$@$@'
Zentis says, 'I wonder what kinda loot drops here'
/con
a french soldier scowls at you ready to attack, haha looks like a pansy, you're an american, kill it'
/pet attack
Karn says, 'Can't attack master, i m frnch pte'
Zentis says, 'wtf?'
/pet attack
Karn says, 'i m sick of yu tyr to comnd me nemor yu re nto do nemor'
Karn slashes YOU for 58 points of damage!
Karn slashes YOU for 58 points of damage!
Karn bashes YOU for 28 points of damage!
/pet get lost
Karn says, 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'
Karn slashes himself for 32000 points of damage.

I summoned a new pet.

Goner says, 'Following master'

I summoned a new pet.

Kabob says, 'Following master'

I summoned a new pet.

Zoner says, 'Following master'

I said screw pets. I'm a wizard without root.

I summoned a new pet.

Jibekn says, 'Following master'
/pet attack
Jibekn says, 'Killing french'
a french soldier says, 'The French army is not to be reckoned with!'
a french soldier says, 'We are just as powerful as the Canadian army!'
a french soldier slaps Jibekn, but Jibekn ripostes!
Jibekn slashes a french soldier for 58 points of damage!
a french soldier has been slain by Jibekn!
Zentis has looted Spell: Mark of Karn
Karn shouts, 'Yu will not escape from my realm alive!'
Zentis shouts, 'me no no engrish tks yu^^'
Karn shouts, 'i mak tks yu, yu stol tks yu, yu not scaepe frm mi nwo!!!!'
Karn shouts, 'FRENCH OWN YU'
Karn shouts, 'FRENCH OWN YU'
Karn shouts, 'i trn yu frnch 2!!!'

I continued my search for loot. But my mind was being plagued with one thought, would Karn really turn me into french? No it couldn't be possible.

I foraged some french fries and croissants to keep me alive.

You have been summoned by Karn!
Zentis says, 'Wtf where the hell am I?'
Trakarnon begins to cast a spell!

It was then I knew I have been summoned to the great French dragon.

Trakarnon says, 'it tim 4 yu 2 di 4 nto lik frnch peepul!!!'


This is when I recalled what I did in the Vox raid to defeat the mighty dragon, chain cast pets.
~~Dream sequence~~
You begin to cast a spell.
/pet attack
Jibekn has been slain by Lady Vox!
You begin to cast a spell.
/pet attack
Gonober has been slain by Lady Vox!
You begin to cast a spell.
/pet attack
Kobaber has been slain by Lady Vox!
You are entombed in ice!
You are entombed in ice!
You resist the dragon roar spell!
Lady Vox slashes you for 225 points of damage!
You have been slain by Lady Vox!
LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
You have entered Permafrost!
Madruk shouts, 'VOX TO CAMP!!!!! /Q /Q /Q!!!'
Lady Vox slashes you for 225 points of damage!
Lady Vox tries to slash you, but misses!
Lady Vox tries to bash you, but you dodge!
Lady Vox tries to slash you, but misses!
Lady Vox tries to slash you, but misses!
Lady Vox tries to bash you, but misses!
Lady Vox tries to slash you, but misses!
Zentis shouts, 'Hahahhaha! Bad ass!
Taking a screenshot...
Lady Vox slashes you for 217 points of damage!
Lady Vox slashes you for 225 points of damage!
Lady Vox bashes you for 80 points of damage!
Lady Vox slashes you for 225 points of damage!
Pain and suffering strikes you but misses!
You are bleeding to death.
You died.
~~End dream sequence~~

Trakarnon says, 'prepair 2 meet yur makr!'
/con
Trakarnon scowls at you ready to attack, don't let french beat americans!
Trakarnon engulfs you in the french language!
You throw your Websters French to English dictionary at Trakarnon!
Trakarnon, 'wtf i m scrood!'
Trakarnon died.
Zentis loots Trakarnon's tooth
Zentis loots a note from Dekan

The note read:

_________________________________________
| You must search for The Karn's Hole. |
| In there you will find your next challenge. |
| I am being held there by Master Karn Holio. |
| Liberate me and I shall tell you how to escape |
| from FrenchQuest. May your anti-French blood |
| cast fear in your enemies! |
|________________________________________|

Vaeros suddenly appears out where Trakarnon was slain.

Vaeros says, 'How did I appear in these wastelands?'
Zentis says, 'Wtf what are you doing here?'
Vaeros says, 'Ah I see that only Dark elven trash walks these lands'
Zentis says, 'Gay, roleplaying trash'
Vaeros says, 'THE RAGE OF THE GODS SHALL ANNIHALATE YOU'
Zentis says, '?'
Vaeros says, 'The fires of Ro will defeat all'
Zentis says, 'Stfu fuc en roleplayer'
Zentis says, 'Port me'
Vaeros says, 'Seriously, I'm trying to roleplay now'
Zentis says, 'Ghey'
Zentis invites Vaeros to a group.
Vaeros has joined the group.
Vaeros tells the group, 'Wtf, how come no one rp's'

Squiggles and Psimorph landed in the same spot as Vaeros a few minutes after.

Squiggles says, 'Wtf?'
Squiggles says, 'XK CROSS TEAMS! IM TELLING THE BOARDS ZENTIS'
You invite Squiggles to the group.
Squiggles has joined the group.
Squiggles tells the group, 'Wtf?'
You invite Psimorph to the group.
Psimorph has joined the group,
Squiggles tells the group, 'Summon food for me please Psi'
Psimorph tells the group, 'fuc en iggle'
Psimorph tells the group, 'WTF THIS IS AN ALENDINE ROBE NOT MAGE@#$!@$@'
Zentis tells the group, 'Group tele us to the nearest zone to The Karn's Hole Vaeros'
Squiggles tells the group, 'REMEMBER I ONLY JOINED NOT TO GET LOOT, BUT TO LEARN THESE ZONES'
Vaeros tells the group, 'Ok'
Vaeros tells you, 'U R GAY'
Vaeros tells you, 'U R GAY'
Vaeros tells you, 'U R GAY'
Vaeros tells you, 'U R GAY'
Vaeros tells you, 'U R GAY'
Vaeros tells you, 'U R GAY'
Vaeros tells you, 'U R GAY'
LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
You have entered Karneel.

Infidelitie tells you, 'I think you sing so good that you can drop the panties of any girl'

Tipp tells you, 'No I won't even group with you even if you gave me your cobalt boots'

------------------------------------------------------------------

Karn Logs Part 3
Previously, Zentis has grouped up with Squiggles, Psimorph and, Vaeros and were headed to Karn's Hole. Vaeros has teleported the group to Karneel. Where we found Wyre.

Wyre says, 'Hi are you guys going to fear?'
Squiggles says, 'No but I'll fear you into that hole!'
Wyre says, 'ILL WINGED DEATH YOUR ASS'
Squiggles begins to cast a spell.
Wyre has the look of terror in his eyes!

So Wyre was feared into Karn's Hole.

Squiggles tells the group, 'owned that mofo profit'
Kevdawg tells you, 'hehe'
Zentis tells Kevdawg, 'wtf? =P'
Psimorph tells the group, 'HAHaHH YOU SHOWED THAT BACKSTABBER!'
Vaeros tells the group, 'THE FIRES OF RO! RO !'
Squiggles has been summoned by the gods!
Zentis tells the group, 'wtf?'
Psimorph tells the group, 'HAHaHH ABASHI IS SHOWING THAT IGGLE'
Vaeros tells the group, 'RO!'
Zentis tells the group, 'What do we do now?'
Psimorph tells the group, 'Find a replacement sk?'
Vaeros tells the group, 'They're gay exp leeches'
Borlacat appears through a mystic portal.
Borlacat says, 'wtf?'
Psimorph says, 'KILL IT'
Psimorph begins to cast a spell.
Borlacat is struck back by a massive force.
Zentis tells the group, 'You made her fall down the hole =P'
Psimorph tells the group, 'Yes, yes I did =P'
Vaeros tells the group, 'This sucks, let's go camp a GBS'
Psimorph tells the group, 'So what do we do now?'
Zentis tells the group, 'I'll summon someone that knows what to do, he works for a French company'
Zentis begins to cast a spell.
Tandar says, 'Wtf why'd you summon me to FrenchQuest'
Tandar says, 'NOT LIKE I SPEND ENOUGH TIME WITH FRENCH PEOPLE IN RL'
Zentis says, 'Well you stole my spot in HS so you follow ^^'
Zentis invites Tandar to a group.
Tandar has joined the group.
Tandar tells the group, 'Wtf psi and V are in this group =P'
Zentis tells the group, 'Yes, yes they are'
Tandar tells the group, 'Where are we going? =P'
Psimorph tells the group, 'Karn's Hole'
Tandar tells the group, 'Well, let's go to Karn's Hole'

So we walk over to Karn's Hole and we found it to behind a boulder.

Tandar tells the group, 'Let's open the door'
The door is locked and you are not holding the key.
Zentis tells the group, 'We need a key retard. =P'
Vaeros tells the group, 'RO SHALL PUNISH ALL WHO GO AGAINST HIS WILL'
Tandar tells the group, 'I thought you had the key ;P'
Psimorph tells the group, 'Damnit, this is gayer than a bard'
Vaeros tells the group, 'Milt'
Psimorph tells the group, 'Milt?'
Zentis tells the group, '?'
Vaeros tells the group, 'Milt is a bard'
Kevdawg tells you, 'hehe'
Tandar tells the group, 'Stfu =P'
Vaeros tells the group, 'MILT IS A BARD'
Vaeros tells the group, 'AND BARDS ARE GAY'
Vaeros tells the group, 'THE FIRES OF RO WILL OWN JOO'
Zentis tells the group, 'Since you're all KoS here I'll go buy the key ;P'

So we walk over to Karneel.

The door is locked and you are not holding the key.
Zentis tells the group, '%#@%%$!#(&*%$^(#@*%^*!@(#$^!@#*&$^!@#*'
Vaeros tells the group, 'fuc en frenchquest'

/who

[ANONYMOUS] Psimorph <Defiant>
[ANONYMOUS] Vaeros
[ANONYMOUS] Tandar <Xanit K`Ven>
[ANONYMOUS] Kardiss
[ANONYMOUS] Zentis <Xanit K`Ven>
There are 5 people in Karneel.

Zentis tells Kardiss, 'Can you get a key from a guard to open the door for us?'
Kardiss tells you, 'sure np big cheef ))'


So Kardiss the retarded newbie comes to Karneel's entrance to open the door.

Kardiss tells you, 'key not werkn big cheef (('
Zentis tells Kardiss, 'Wtf'
Kardiss tells you, 'I try harder, if u giv me 5pp'
Zentis tells Kardiss, 'Fine'
Kardiss tells you, 'dam key not werkn, sry (('
Zentis tells Kardiss, 'OPEN THE DAMN DOOR OR ILL KILL YOU'
Kardiss tells you, 'NO I KIL YU'
Tandar tells the group, 'Let's just do the exploit to get in'
Zentis tells the group, 'ILL KILL YOU'
Psimorph tells the group, 'WTF DAMNIT@#%$@'
Vaeros tells the group, 'RO DOES NOT ALLOW IT'
Zentis tells the group, 'It has Kylong Legs in there'
Vaeros tells the group, 'r33t l3wt'

So we walked over to the rock and use the squeeze exploit.

Tandar tells the group, 'Let's zone in'
Zentis tells the group, 'GOOD IDEA'
Kevdawg tells you, 'hehe'
LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
You have entered Karn's Hole!


What will happen to Squiggles?
What happens to the people falling into the abyss?
Will Vaeros get his Kylong Leggings?


------------------------------------------------------------

The First Eve: Karn

New Karn Logs:
This will probably only make sense to the people who were there on the first days of Vallon, or perhaps even the first year or two.

The Daily Posts have become daily, then weekly, then monthly, then vanished. The Karn Logs remain unfinished. But now, for those who I have had the oppurtunity to become friends, as well as enemies with, throughout the course of Vallon Zek's history, I present some more chapters that will also probably unfinished, in our unforgettable memories. --

Thanksgiving was over, and I was in France. Why was I in France? Because there was a hole in the wall, yes a hole in the wall, because there was also a place in France, where all the naked ladies danced, with a hole in this wall, the hole being the whole reason I came, you see. I found no damn hole, all I found were French people with corrupted English. But the ultimate king gay of corrupted English was also a charismatic leader of these Frenchmen. They referred to him as King. What kind of King had no name? No one knew his name, not even his parents who named him. People had a name for him though, to make up for the lack of not knowing his real name. He became something I never thought he would ever be.

**

I was an arrogant American in France, and of course, I made fun of them all.

Zentis says, 'wee wee'
Franceman says, 'y r yu takl aBOUT?>>???'
Zentis says, 'engrish preez'
Franceman says, 'huhuhuhuhuhu^^'

This frightened me, people who can't speak English properly always frighten me, but what frightened me the most was his ^^. I've never seen it before or heard it, because I fear the unknown, I fear the ^^.

Zentis says, 'Get the hell away from me kind france sir'
Franceman says, 'I R NTO RANNING AWWAY YU FROOM KAKAKAKAK! DOKU PWNER YU^^'
Zentis says, 'keke'
Franceman says, '???????? REPROT DOKUSIRE!'

So I was mobbed. Why the hell was I mobbed. Jesus allah buddha, they seized me, and all my loot. My precious passport, they took my damned passport, I would never return to America after that.

Zentis says, 'Where are you taking me?'
Francemen, 'SFUT! I R TAK YU KING DOKU!!!!'

This is when I first became aware that there was even a King that led these french hearted folk'll. They called him King Doku. I was taken into his court. His court was not like any King's court you would imagine or fantasize about. No, there were great pictures of Doku's on the wall, murals of great Doku battles, so Doku was not just the king's name.

Zentis says, 'Why are there so many Jigglypuffs are on the wall?'
Franceguardmang says, 'JAGGRYPUFf yu TLAK?'
Zentis says, 'Are you gay? You have like not only pokemon all over the wall, which is gay itself, but you chose the gayest pokemon of all, jigglypuff'
Franceguardmang says, 'yu RE tlak DOKU! ES DOKUUUUUUU KAKKAKAKAKA!'

So the doku's looked like jigglypuffs, my mistake. Anyways, I was told to wait in a room, apparently this is where King Doku would await me.

Zentis says, 'This is gay'

This WAS gay.

King Doku says, 'huhu yu re arivvd me zENTS^^'
Zentis says, 'How did you know my name?'
King Doku says, 'y re yu no recogn... y yu nono me zntis????'

He couldn't spell my name right, he spelled my name wrong twice and both differently.

Zentis says, 'wtf'
King Doku says, 'yesh, i re so living stillled!!!!!11!@'
Zentis says, 'you're a fag'
King Doku says, 'WFT????/?? I RE PK YU K^^'

He probably could, since I'm a mage. This King acted and talked familiar, someone very familiar, he was no King, but we was still the ultimate gay King. He was not just a homosexual, but a gay homosexual, he should have been gone after the logs...

----------------------------------------------------------------

The Second Eve: Vaeros


I was taken into the French Dungeon, with my dagger* and fire beetle eye, to help me see. It looked like I was in a hopeless position, I thought of that constantly, that I will be in here forever, with no one knowing. But it seems that I was to be wrong, however my time in that dungeon, made me wish I were dead. You wouldn’t believe how many gay Franceman there are, all of whose names started with Jean, particularly Jean George or Jean Claude. I referred to them all as Jean Gay. But anyways, there was a wizard, a wizard who first sensed Zentis was in danger.

This wizard was Vaeros.

****

Vaeros was an odd wizard. He had only one obsession, an obsession that kept burning inside of him. Yes, Mr. Maehdros (sometimes dressed as Mrs. Maehdros at the gay bars) had an absolute desire to please Solusek Ro, in EverQuest and in real life. He was obsessed with Ro before he even knew it. When he was in kindergarten, all the children sang a well beloved and know song: Row, Row, Row your boat. Every time the children sang it, Vaeros would have the equivalence of getting fifty orgasms at once, shouting “RO RO RO!” Even if someone called out to him, such as a “Hey Vaeros,” he would reply, “RO? VaeROs???? RO RO RO!” This was, or what it seemed, his only defect.

There was one thing he hated the most, and that is a better wizard than him, a wizard trying to please Ro better than he could. This wizard, who Vaeros believed that could outdo him, was Harry Potter. Vaeros read all the Harry Potter books at least 23 times, to learn more about his enemy. He loathed Harry Potter, and British people, and tea. The sound of his name drove him mad, yet he still read about him.

The only thing gayer than Harry Potter, is Vaeros.

Today was a fine day in the desert of Ro, where Vaeros liked to play catch with his son.

Vaeros says, ‘Hey sport! Wanna play some catch?’
Vaerosson says, ‘Ok, daddy! But don’t you have to go to Best Buy for work soon?’
Vaeros says, ‘Daddy can no longer Turn on the Fun, I was fired’
Vaerosson says, ‘Why daddy? =(‘
Vaeros says, ‘Never mind that squirt! Let’s go play catch’
Vaerosson says, ‘Ok!’
Vaeros says, ‘Alllllllriiiiighttt! Let’s go get ‘em Tiger!’

Vaeros then sensed something.

Vaeros says, ‘What’s this! I sense Zentis is in danger!’
Vaerosson says, ‘Are you still smoking pot, dad?’
Vaeros says, ‘RO IS TELLING ME THIS’
Vaerosson says, ‘YOU MEAN RO?’
Vaeros says, ‘YES SON, RO!’
Caramel shouts, ‘SHUT UP YOU HAVE A GRAND CANYON QUEER ASS!’
Vaeros shouts, ‘AHHRRGHHHHHRGHHHHH!!!!’
A pause, Vaeros’ face turns red, as red as the fires of Ro!’
Vaeros shouts, “RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…”
Vaeros shouts, “RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…”
Vaeros shouts, “RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Vaeros shouts, “RO RO RO!”

For some reason, a reason that shall remain unknown, Vaeros casts O`Keils Radiation, l33t 1pt damage shield. But he was not attuned with Ro, he needed to get friends, friends to help him save Zentis.

Vaeros says, “To the RO MOBILE!”

And he drove, he drove from South Ro to Halas. He picked up Cuchulainn.

****

I remained in the dungeon, but then the door open, She looked familiar. I couldn’t tell the shadowy green figure at first, but then, I sank into fear.

Flechette says, ‘Hiho Zentis!’

It was the Canadian Lumberjack. I did everything I could to keep her away from me. I threw my Dagger* (3/21), but lumberjacks eat pancakes, and throwing that dagger did nothing. I decided to keep my fire beetle eye, because I could still sell it for 2 silver.

Flechette says, ‘King Doku has sent me’
Zentis says, ‘Damn you’
Flechette says, ‘Ha! No cursing in front of a guide! You get a warning!’
Zentis says, ‘You can take your beaver and shove it!’
Flechette says, ‘HAHAHAHA NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU NOW, NOT EVEN YOUR FRIENDS AND YOULL NEVER GO BACK TO AMERICA!!’

But this was not true. For I heard a faint Ro in the distance, and something about Harry Potter.

Flechette says, ‘Hiho! I shall see you again, tomorrow, when you shall be dokufied!'

This didn't sound good, to be dokufied the next day, but what was it? Hopefully it would be anything but being a French citizen.

Prior from Vaeros’ coming, Cuchulainn and Psimorph were happily chatting. They were competitors, yet they were lovers. Both liked to bake muffins, and they always tried to contest each other on who could make the best banana nut muffins. Some people saw Cuchulainn and Psimorph as Batman and Robin, Scooby and Shaggy, Ren and Stimpy, Ace and Gary, the magnificent Ambiguously Gay Duo. Cuchulainn had the bananas, Psimorph had the nuts. Cuchulainn always argued that he had the biggest and tastiest bananas were better than Psimorph’s large succulent nuts. But now they realized that they could bake the ultimate banana nut muffin with their combined powers, and became the best of pals.

Their muffins had special properties, they made the little doku’s explode, like exploding slug poison. Karn was the only one aware of the banana nut muffins mystical properties. He knew that when you mix big bananas and large nuts. Cuchulainn and Psimorph brought a bag of these muffins with Vaeros, because they might get hungry. They were like Santa and his two gay elves in the sleigh with muffins in their bag.

Cuchulainn says, ‘Anyone want a muffin?’
Psimorph says, ‘sure!’
Vaeros says, ‘omg d00d these muffins were baked with the fires of RO!’

Cuhualainn hands Psimoprh and Vaeros a banana nut muffin.
Vaeros says, ‘RO has blessed me with the muffin with the most nuts!’ Psimorph says, ‘wtf’

And like a while later they got to the dungeon omg! They all casted not just invis, but improved invis. Regular doku’s couldn’t see past the invis, but what they didn’t know was the doku chiefjailguardl33t#1 could see them!

Doku chiefjailguardl33t#1 says, ‘wtf I see you~~’
Cuchulainn says, ‘liar’
Vaeros says, ‘omg ill give you discounts at Best Buy if you don’t see us’
Psimorph tells the group, ‘Don’t worry guys, I’ll own him with my sarcastic wit’
Psimorph says, ‘Wow, you’re such a good observer’
Doku chiefjailguardl33t#1, ‘^^’
Psimorph says, ‘No wonder you’re the chiefjailguard huh?’
Doku chiefjailguardl33t#1, ‘^^’
Psimorph says, ‘OMG WTF HAPPENED TO MY SARCASTIC WIT’
Doku chiefjailguardl33t#1, ‘^^’
Vaeros says, ‘ruh RO!’
Cuchulainn says, ‘omg their ^^’s must be draining it form you!’
Doku chiefjailguardl33t#1, ‘^^’
Psimorph says, ‘@#%@!#@$%’
Doku chiefjailguardl33t#1, ‘muffin!!!!!!!’
Cuchulainn says, ‘?’
Psimorph says, ‘do you want a muffin?’
Doku chiefjailguardl33t#1, ‘^^’
Psimorph says, ‘are you gay?’
Doku chiefjailguardl33t#1, ‘^^’
Psimorph says, ‘omg no muffins for you’
Doku chiefjailguardl33t#1, ‘MUFFIN!!!!!!#@@!!’

The chiefjaulguardl33t#1 pounced Psi’s sack of muffins, and ate one.

Doku chiefjailguardl33t#1, ‘^^’

A Doku chiefjailguardl33t#1 explodes.

Psimorph says, ‘omg pwnd’
Vaeros says, ‘HE IS NOW A PART OF RO’S FLAME!’
Cucuhlainn says, ‘omg stfu tribunal > ro’
Psimorph says, ‘I wonder what that felt like’
Cuchulainn says, ‘I bet it felt like getting assrammed by dynamite ready to explode’
Vaeros says, ‘we have the video at best buy!’
Zentis shouts, ‘huhu^^’
Psimorph says, ‘omg I hear him’

So Psi, Cuch, and Vaeros set off to get me, as the Doku chiefjailguardl33t#1 was guarding my cell.

Cuchualainn says, ‘Want a muffin?’
Zentis says, ‘Summoned: black bread > your muffin!’
Psimorph says, ‘Let’s go kill Karn now’
Cuchulainn says , ‘k’
Zentis says, ‘k’
Vaeros says, ‘k’

So we set off out the dungeon. Vaeros TL’d us out of the perfumy French whore dungeon, to the gates of Karn’s big pink castle with pink alligators guarding it in the pink moat. Everyone wanted to kill Karn for a reason, I wanted it for revenge, Psi wanted his sarcastic wit back, Cuchulainn wanted his SoW money, and Vaeros wanted to Turn on the Fun.

Karn senses something from his pink throne and servant doku’s.

Karn says, ‘^^ …’
Karn says, 'i r smel muffans^^'

[Veraphim]

Karn logs are priceless relics of VZ =)

Thanks for posting these.

[Moristans]

Classic.

Anybody know what Zentis is doing these days?

[Aadrya]

Those really are priceless. Thanks leezard.

(BTW, I got a cameo!)

[steppezhe]

I didn't think about it at the time...but this should probably be in the "Tales from Yesteryear or Yesterday" or whatever it is...

Maybe someone can move it?

[Tipp]

These are the best. The RP with Vaeros kills me.

[Caziel]

hehe I remember these. Zentis was too funny.

[Hoofhurr]

IMO the flechette logs beat these hand over foot. Absolutely roaringly funny.

[steppezhe]

I haven't read the Flechette logs in many years...

Does anyone have a copy stored somewhere they could post here? Would love to read them again.

Post 'em if you got 'em

[Vllad]

heh,

I just saw the part

"Iggles are Fags!"

and in the next breath

"Invite Psykotik to the guild"!

[Flab]

Pskotik was the guy you chased around wasnt it?

[Hoofhurr]

Psykotik always seemed a little nuts to me.

[Vllad]

Yea Psy was given permission to drag a corpse on some kind of nasty CR and then proceded to rip off all the guys gear. The guy he was ripped off was my guildy so...

I chased Psy where ever he went for 2 days straight and did a lot of horrible stuff to him until he gave me all the items back. Figure you have to do extreme things to deal with someone extreme.

I did however get all the items back.


Vllad

[Shmobiggles]

iggles!

[Karne]

I still get messages on random MMORPG's asking if I am Karn or French. WTF!!!


Karne

[Grunldesnapp]

OMG, someone dig up those GM posts. That was to damn funny.

Grunldesnapp <Purge>
Gunldesnapper Uberzauberer <Defiant> retired

[Borys]

wow, that was an awesome read.

[Skaag]

OMG did Psykotik ever join the guild??? Not sure if Psykotik or your friendship with the Tullys (sp) was your brightest moment in EQ1 hehe.

Hey Ruf/Borys =)

[Maren]

Zentis cracks me up... I remember the first time I met him was when he was camping the journeyman boots in Najena with Vaeros

[Aldida]

wow so many old names and fond memories