The Unibomber
#1
Back in the days of UO, I had a character named "Ted Kaczynski" -- the unibomber.


One of the great thing about UO was all the stuff you could do with the crafting system. I was a lumberjack so I could chop down trees. I was a carpenter so I could turn wood into boxes. I was an alchemist so I could make potions and I was a tinkerer so I could use those potions to make traps in the boxes.

In UO, it was entirely possible to accidentally drop something on the ground, or worse, die and drop EVERYTHING on the ground. If you accidentally dropped your wallet on the ground in UO, there was a 99% chance someone would snatch it up and run away cackling with their free loot.

I took advantage of this.

I would go into town and drop a box. Oops! Clumsy me! You'd think that once in a while someone would helpfully snatch it up and then hand it back and say, "Hey pal, you dropped this." That never happened.

Instead, they took the box and opened it to see what prizes they had won. When the unibomber drops a box, the only prize inside is your imminent explosive death.


Once people started realizing that if I dropped a box, it was best to not open it, I decided to turn to other methods. I would drop a box in a store and then use the "hide" skill to hide in the corner. Someone would wander in, see a box on the floor and nobody else in the room, pick it up and blamo! I would sometimes go outside of town and leave a chest in the middle of the road, but half the time the person would just pick it up and keep walking, presumably opening it and exploding somewhere else later on. Next, I started trapping chests in the dungeons, which couldn't be picked up or moved. With the "hide" skill, I could stand hidden beside a chest and trap it.

Sometimes people would search the chest for traps and disarm it. Since I was hidden right there, I would trap it again. They would open the box and blamo! And then I'd take all their stuff.

There was one guy (whose name I don't recall) that did this once and survived with a sliver of health. He was quite cordial about it. From then on, he'd always come up to the chests and say, "Hi Ted, how's business?" Business was usually good.


My crowning achievement, however, was probably the time I got jumped by 3 PKs that were killing everyone in the dungeon. They caught me and killed me and were sorting through my loot. I kept all of my loot in trapped, locked boxes. The keys were in my inventory as well but they were just all grabbing stuff randomly and not paying any attention. If you opened the box with the key, you disarmed the trap temporarily. If you opened it any other way, you didn't.

I think the unlock spell in UO was "Ex Por". So I'd see one of them say, "Ex Por", hear a click. Then a pause. Then a boom. Then they died and joined me standing there as a ghost.

The other two PKs paused. Huh. Oh well! "Ex Por". Click. Boom. Dead. We are now three ghosts.


Sadly, the last PK wised up and resurrected his pals before opening any more boxes. They finally realized what my name was and basically said, "Oh shit! It's the unibomber!"


In the end, the developers made some changes that made this sort of thing impossible, but it was good while it lasted.
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#2
there are tears in my eyes, this is so funny!

-ken
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#3
Comedy Gold.

Eremith has a good story about "helping" people in dungeons as a rogue.

I'll bug him to post it.
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"Well if there is a god its nice to see the purge will have a solid representation in hell, which is good - we wont have to pug it." ~Jakensama
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#4
You better make a Bright Wizard and name him Unibomber!
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#5
That's frickin awesome Smile
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#6
Awesome story ). UO definitely had some nifty elements to it.
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#7
Ultima Online was a ton of fun! It was the very first MMO I ever played. I stuck with it for a little over a year, and yeah, I was the typical deep-dungeon pker. A lot of the red names on the shard I played on were actually some of the nicest folks i've ever met gaming.

One of my real life friends kept playing the game after I retired, and he and some friends rerolled over to a Japanese shard. They formed a guild called <Enola Gay>, and as a group they'd raid dungeons armed with a ton of those explosive potions. It was so wrong, but I lol'd so hard when he told me that.


EDIT: Some of the best times I had personally was "house ganking". Some friends and I cleaned out so many people doing that stuff.

Good times! :wink:
The CK Machine
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#8
haha funny stuff

I exp. with UO was logging in and asking people how to get started. Someone told me to start chopping trees for money and to get an axe. So I got an axe and headed to the west side of town so he could help show me how to cut down a tree. I wave hi to him and he then cuts my head off. Thanking me for the axe.

That was my whole exp. playing UO. I went back to Diablo and took it out on other players there. Then VZ came along and I found out how much fun real pvp can be.
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#9
My favorite experience was this noob showing up and asking me how to play. So I tell him to go buy and axe and proceed to cut down trees on the edge of town...
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#10
:twisted:
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Skaag/Iceheart
Skaag51, Xbox Live
Skaag555, Steam ID
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#11
All I remember is that 'corp por' is mining lingo for 'I think you need to go mine elsewhere'
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