Police Humour

[Trotts]

A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese Businessman and a Policeman were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.

The Policeman fumed, 'What's with those guys? We have been waiting for fifteen minutes!'

The Indian Doctor chimed in, 'I've never seen such poor golf!'

The Chinese Businessman yelled out 'Get moving, time is money'


The Catholic Priest said, 'Here comes George the greens keeper, maybe he can do something about this'

'Hello, George!', said the Catholic Priest, 'What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'

George the greens keeper replied, 'Yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'

The group fell silent for a moment.


The Catholic Priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'


The Indian Doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'


The Chinese Businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honor of these brave souls'


The Policeman said, 'Why the f@$k don't they play at night?'

[Flab]

Something something Darth Vader

Something something Faggotry

[Waeloga]

Something something Darth Vader

Something something Faggotry

Something something flabbo.

[Chain]

Huh. When I first heard that joke, the policeman was an engineer. Guess things like that change over time.


There was a couple in high school. They'd been boyfriend/girlfriend for about a month and, as those things go, he was trying to persuade her to have sex. Finally she agreed; on the condition that he meet her parents first. So they set up a night where he'd have dinner at her house, then after they'd do it. They were both virgins and the boy was understandably nervous, and figured it would fall to him to bring a condom. But when he went to the pharmacy he was confused by the variety, until one of the pharmacists came over to help. He walked the boy through the different options, explained how to make a safe choice, and sent him on his way with a box. That night at the dinner table, the family bowed their heads to pray. The girl and her parents looked up, but the boy still had his head down, apparently intent on his prayers. Five minutes passed, then ten. At fifteen the girl leaned over and whispered "I had no idea you were so religious!" The boy whispered back "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"

[Valenesca]

Golfer humour:
==========

After a day of playing golf, three avid golfers died in a car accident on their way home and go to heaven.

As they approach the pearly gates, one of them asks St. Peter, "Is this really heaven?"

St. Peter replies, "Yes it is. Welcome."

Then another golfer asks St. Pete, “Do you have golf courses here in heaven?"

St. Pete replies, "My child, this *IS* heaven. Of course we do. In fact, we have the best golf course you'd ever play in! There is only one rule though: don’t hit the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough laid before them is the greenest, most beautiful golf course they have ever seen. And, sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. Though they were curious about the ducks, they were even more excited to play golf and just as they are about to tee off, St. Peter reminds them, "Remember, don't hit the ducks"

As the first golfer lines up his shot and tees off, his ball flies and lands on the green but incidently hits a duck. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest old woman they had ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment for hitting a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!”

The second golfer tried to be more careful with his shot but unfortunately, on the 18th hole, he accidentally hits a duck. And so, along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first golfer.

The third golfer has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful. He manages to go months without hitting any ducks. Until one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on. Young, tall and with the body of a supermodel. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

Delighted, the golfer says, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?!”

The woman replies, “I don’t know about you, but I hit a duck!”

[JawcnScelestus]

Hahaha Trotts, I love it=)